why you shouldn't date french men

Me: Oh man, Annie, remember all the crazy guys we dated? Let’s see, for me there was…

-Antoine. Guy who took me to the Eiffel Tower. And I told him that I had my period - but my French was so bad I had no idea. And I had to ask Amanda in the bathroom of a club how to say, “you’re biting me” because he kissed with his teeth. Awful.

-Yoann…that jazz guitarist who lived in a shithole and wore purple linen pants.

-Laurent. The school teacher who just wanted sex and texted me in ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME

What were yours?

Annie:

-Fabian - hookup from that club near the Louvre
-Benjamin the Brit
-Bastian the one who lived with his mom
-Marc - the guy who lived in the banlieu - and we all went over that one time and you wanted to go home so bad all you did was talk about 9/11
-Olivier, the wine guy who only knew three english words: Awesome, amazing, and crazy


Annie won on this one. Clearly.