Dear Google: Why Does No One Understand Me?

Google knows all. I’ve therefore made it a daily activity to ask Google a personal question and make a decision based on the search results.

Today’s query, “why does no one understand me?” is one that has plagued teenage girls round the world for ages. Although, I tend to think that one who demands this unanswerable question, most likely falls into the “normal” category (white, hetero-normative, middle class). As in, I am so normal, I must do/act in a different way that ultimately alienates me from others and causes depression.

Appropriately, the first site Google brings me sports the Meta title, “Kurt Cobain ” I can’t quite figure out what this site is about, but it somehow it tells me that people do not understand me because I am stuck in the garage band phase of the early 90s that hasn’t made its comeback yet.

Many of my search results bring up diary-like pages, mainly with a dark/goth/emo bent. Reads one poem from an “Emo Poem Thread”:

Why does no one understand me?
I have to pee.
Today I got punched with clay.
And called gay.
I don’t know why.
I listened to Linkin Park in my room.
My dad yelled at me.
I screamed at him in my head.
Wishing he were dead.
You just don’t understand.
It is my life I cannot stand.
Tonight, I’ll drink bleach.
And hope that my stomach it does reach.
First I’ll slit my wrists.
Down the road,
Not across the street.
I’ll lay in the bathtub,
So the water thins my blood.
And I bleed more.
Laying in a pool of filth,
Since I don’t shower.
Mixed with 2 pints of blood.
Tainted by a conformist society.
John Kerry for President.
Because I’m a faggy liberal.
Listening to Simple Plan.
Wishing I were dead.
But no one would care.
Because that’s what’s cool.
I think.
Maybe I’ll starve myself.
You know, for attention.
Cover one eye with my hair.
Hope for death.
Goodbye.
LOL.

Well now, the reason no one understands you is because, well, are you even speaking English? That aside, I notice that this poem thread (“serious poems only”) is actually pretty long and detailed. So, something tells me that maybe others do understand?

In conclusion, Google explains this whole “no one understands me” is a crock. Because, clearly, all these “misunderstood” people have something in common, even if it is a shared love for Simple Plan and erratic bathing.